The One Twisting The Blade
by Waves of Wind
Summary: For some time now. There has been a blade in my heart. The one I love wields it, and although he doesn't know, he twists the blade every minute of every day. Will I ever be free of this pain' Matsumoto x Hitsugaya.


**The one twisting the blade.**

She sighed from behind her huge stack of paperwork. Yes, believe it or not, Matsumoto Rangiku was doing paperwork!She wasn't sure why herself, until she glanced past the pile. Her captain was talking calmly to her, Hinamori Momo. She glanced at the small form behind the desk.

'_For months, maybe years now. There has been a blade piercing my heart.'_

She sighed softly and turned back to the boring pieces of paper. She couldn't understand why he kept being so much kinder to her than he was to anyone else. Were they really just friends? Even after all she had put him through? She had ignored him for years, all in favor of her dear captain Aizen. Murdering ass. Even after his real intentions had become clear, she refused to believe it. Even going as far as asking her Captain to save the traitor. Yet, he still treated her so much kinder than anyone else. Even……Kinder than her. Every day she came by and every day Rangiku's chest screamed in pain as she saw her captain brighten up.

'_The blade, someone is twisting the blade. It hurts. Please, don't twist the blade. My heart hurts so much.'_

She resisted the urge to scream and draw Haineko as she heard the small girl giggle. What right did she even have to be her? She had treated her Captain like thrash. Did she think she could just walk back in to his life? What was worse, he seemed more than happy to welcome her back. It had never been a topic between herself, Kira and Hisagi, but they knew they felt at least slightly the same. She could see it in their eyes. Hisagi's eyes always narrowed ever so slightly when he spotted her and Kira, he had always loved Momo. Even his eyes narrowed slightly, something like hurt and anger filling them. Nobody had spoken their mind so far. If this kept up, she just might. What irked her, was that the Captain also hadn't mentioned it. He had no problems speaking his mind with her, so why didn't he say anything to her? What made her so special? What made her different?

'_It's not a fast jerk either, it is slow and careful. You make sure to do as much damage and inflict as much pain as you can. I can only stare at you and ask myself why.'_

Another sigh as she reached for a new piece of paper. Her hand nudged the ink bottle, and it fell over. She cursed under her breath and moved the papers out of the way as the ink spilled over her desk. The two small shinigami turned to her and two eyebrows were raised. "Matsumoto what are you doing?" Her captain asked. She closed her eyes for a second and quickly faked a smile. "Just a little accident, Taichou. See? This is what happens when you let me do the paperwork!"

Momo giggled as Toushiro simply closed his eyes and sighed. "Just clean it up, Matsumoto. You're not getting out of it this time." She nodded and picked up a cloth to clean the desk. "Hai, Taichou." Her fake smile lingered for a few seconds as the two small shinigami turned around again, before it disappeared. Maybe, she was being unfair. All the things she'd just mentioned in her head were true, but her anger wasn't just because of this. The pain in her chest, that all consuming pain. Wasn't because of this. She was jealous. He was so casual with her. His eyes were so much warmer. Why could she not have that? Why only her? She had been with him for so long. Protected him in more ways than one. Did she not deserve that much? He was still a child, completely unaware of her affections. Completely unaware of the pain he was causing her?

'_Can you not see? The blade is hurting me. And you are the one, who holds it in his hands.'_

She just wanted to do those things her mind told her to do in the darkest nights. She wanted to hold him, hug him, kiss him and do things with him that should never be done in an office. Hm, that was actually kinda kinky. Back to the point. It hurt her to him like this. It just wasn't fair. Every day, she slowly felt more like crying. She had told no one, but Hisagi. He had always been a good listener, no matter how drunk she was. She had told him her story in a combination of talking, drinking and crying. After her long rant, he had hugged her to him and smiled softly. "You're just clueless aren't you?" He had refused to say anything to clear that up for her, but had threatened her to not tell anyone about him hugging people. That just wasn't his thing. Momo giggled again and she nearly crushed the ink brush in her grip. She fought down the urge to throw the brush at her head and sighed in relief when she heard the scraping of a chair's legs against the floor, she was leaving.

'_Every second of every day you twist that blade. Can you not see my pain, or do you simply not know how to help me? But, to see you happy, I'll endure any pain.'_

She raised her slightly to see Momo hug him and growled under her breath. She smiled as she let go and walked towards the door. Spurred on by Haineko, Matsumoto raised her head and spoke. "Momo-chan?" A hundred things to say ran through her head as the small girl turned and smiled at her. "Hai, Rangiku-san?" Would saying the things on her mind achieve anything? Her captain would not take kindly to it. Worse, she was sure he felt the same in some things. He would not lie to Momo if she asked him what he felt about it. That could destroy their friendship, a thing her captain treasured above anything else. Was her own peace of mind, really worth causing both of them so much pain? Could she…hurt the man she loved? Beliefs or love, not much of a choice. The blade in her heart twisted itself again as she thought about all of it. She made her choice and could feel Haineko roar in her mind. "You said yourself that it hurts. Are your truly prepared for this? Prepared to have your heart ripped from your chest every time you see him? I will not allow my wielder to be a lovesick lump for much longer!" She sighed and smiled softly. "Kira wanted to know when you'd be delivering those papers."

'_I could hurt you. The one twisting the blade, but if I did, you'd never remove the blade. I would have to live with this pain for the rest of my days.'_

The small shinigami squeaked and ran out the door. She sighed and went back to her paperwork, until a voice interrupted her. "Matsumoto?" She looked up, to find her Captain's face very close to her own. She blushed fiercely and stammered. "T-Taichou?" He smiled slyly and glanced down at her hand. "That was an expensive ink brush, Matsumoto." She glanced down as well and chuckled when she saw the destroyed ink brush in her hand. "Eh, oops. I'll make sure to replace it." She almost flinched when he placed his fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him. "It is my fault. I apologize, I'll make sure to take this pain and anger away." She was about to ask what he meant, until he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Her brain shut down for a couple of seconds, before it exploded in glee and she kissed him bask hungrily. After several minutes, lack of oxygen forced them to part. He smiled as he leaned his head against hers. "Does this make up for being a blind ass for so long, Rangiku?" She smiled slyly and brushed some hair out of his face. "Kinda, how about we go back to your bedroom and you try to make up for it all the way?" He smiled and picked her up. "Gladly." He shunpoed off, Matsumoto laughing all the way.

'_Only you could remove this blade from my heart and heal the wound. Now you are in my arms and the swords is forgotten. Please stay here with me, forever.'_

* * *

Hey, guys! Azure here! Hope you like the fic! I wrote this feeling kinda down. It sucks, but I'm in a similar situation right now. Believe me, being in the friendbox sucks big time. You can't do anything and you can only bite your lip every time she says something. Women are clueless! no offense to anyone. Anyway, I hope you like it and even if you don't then let me know.

REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!


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